If I ramble at all while writing this post (which would be nothing unusual), it’s because I’m listening to the amazingly awesome Zombie Ninja song which I found via Shéa MacLeod’s blog (did I spell that right), and it’s distracting me, but I don’t want to turn it off. Because it’s amazingly awesome.
When I was a kid, I wanted to be an actress and an author. My parents weren’t so sure about the ‘actress’ thing – I’m hardly typical actress appearance, given that I’m small and not stunningly beautiful. Plus, they said I couldn’t act. I think that’s a bit harsh, since I did get a part in the junior play at school in my first term, and had one entire line. I’ve always been good at physical theatre, too, or playing the corpse – I can detach myself from the situation enough not to laugh when people poke me. A massive advantage.
However, by the time I was about twelve I’d changed actress to musician, which was looking a lot more hopeful as I played a couple of instruments already. Author stayed. That’s been there since I was eight and doesn’t show any signs of disappearing, though I’m pretty sure writing full time would drive me insane. Mind you, I think doing anything full time would drive me insane. I hate sticking with the same thing. I like procrastinating and doing other things in between.
Anyway, a couple of years after that I took up Irish dancing and decided I wanted to be a dancer. Six months down the line I’d changed that to dance teacher, and that stuck even when I quit Irish dance and took up ballet instead. A year after that, and we’ve come to present day.
Why am I telling you this?
Well, I’m at that point in time when I’m beginning to think about the future in terms of qualifications – deciding which subjects to study at A-Level, at university, etc. I’m even going to an open day next month, because it’s so late in the year that leaving it until Year 12 would be a stupid idea. It’s the open day for ASNC – Anglo-Saxon, Norse and Celtic, only available at Cambridge (irritatingly).
Since it’s only available at one university, the standard application process (one personal statement, a bunch of options) will be tricky, if I decide to go for it. And certainly from everything I’ve read on their website and the bits of the subjects that I know already, it sounds fascinating, and right up my street. I’m not sure about the whole Cambridge thing, that’s all.
And I’m not really sure about the whole academic subject thing. I want to be a ballet teacher. The best ballet teachers have performance experience. Therefore, I’d have to train as a ballet dancer. Where can you do that? Ballet schools – so your degree would be in ballet, and then you’re not an undergraduate any more and you can’t get a student loan to do something else.
A while ago I wanted to study ballet in sixth form instead of staying at school and doing A Levels, but my parents insisted on my doing otherwise. Which was irritating. My brother was allowed to do a BTEC in music because that was all he wanted. But apparently, I’d be ‘wasting my academic potential’.
It seems to me that being academic closes doors, rather than opens them.
I’ve got almost two years before I need to make up my mind whether I want to study from books or in a studio. In that time I’ll have grown up, changed my mind about things, gone on a ballet summer intensive course, and gone to the ASNC open day (both of these are happening this summer). It probably won’t be as hard a decision to make as it would be if you asked me today.
And yet I can’t see myself EVER being content to do just one thing at a time. But I guess that’s just because my concentration span is approximately two and a half minutes.