Things You’ll Hear Me Say

Things You’ll Hear Me Say

“Everyone keeps saying I’m a sociopath.”

“What do you mean, get rid of some of my books?”

“I broke my headphones again.”

“I’m wearing this hat for a reason.”

“Live long and koala.”

“Aifa [female character, a fairy] is totally a giant green rage monster.”

“How to tell if a piece is from the Star Trek soundtrack – the title includes a really bad pun.”

“Why are there still handcuffs on my desk?”

“I keep getting texts from Heimdall and I’m not sure who it is.” [True story – I changed everyone’s names on my phone one time when I was rather hyper and it was rather late at night and now I have no idea who anyone is, so that’s fun.]

“Seriously? If you don’t shut up, I’m going to write you into a book and kill you off. Painfully.”

“Awww, you poor thing … do you mind if I borrow that for a novel?”

“I’m out of lined paper. Can someone buy me some? I’m skint.”

“I love your name! Is it okay if I use it for a character?”

“Excuse me while I asdfghjkl. … Why are you saying ‘bless you’? I didn’t sneeze.”

“I broke my headphones. Again.”

“Have you seen my other shoe? This one’s in the kitchen but I can’t … oh, there it is. In the bathroom. Right.”

“But I don’t WANT to wear shoes right now.”

“Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to destroy Jotunheim– I mean, do my revision.”

“I’m not obsessed with Sherlock. Gosh, what is it like inside your funny little brains? It must be so boring.”

“I can’t find my sonic screwdriver and I need to see in the cupboard.” [It’s a torch shaped like a sonic screwdriver. The cupboard is very dark. There is method to my madness.]

“Pleeeaase can I cosplay Jotun Loki? Please?” [To which KM replied, “Well, I have blue body paint at home.”]

“I’d be terrible as a full-time writer. I write too fast.”

“Do you have any spare headphones? I broke mine.”

“Neil’s hanging out with Sylvia and Mrs Hudson’s under my pillow. But it’s okay, JARVIS and the Torchwood Hub seem to be getting on pretty well.” [I name the objects in my room, so funny things end up happening.]

“I’m out of lined paper. Is anyone going shopping today?” [I have got through two A4 pads of narrow-ruled lined paper in the last fortnight or so, revising for exams. I can’t stand wide-ruled.]

“TEA! … What do you mean, I’ve had enough caffeine for today?”

“Equal rites. Equal rites? Ohhhh equal rights.” [I got muddled with my history notes as I think I wrote them when I’d been reading too much Terry Pratchett.]


“Caitlin, my friends find it amusing that I call you Cap. Is this amusing?”

“I don’t understand people. Or emotions. Why are they so complicated?”

“I guess if they’re going to die soon anyway, giving them surgery isn’t really worth it. … Why are you looking at me like I just ate a baby? It’s true, isn’t it?”

“I’m not anti-monarchy… I’m just too lazy to care all that much.”

“Ughhhh, will you SHUT UP about the Olympics?”

“Don’t. Don’t even think about making me do maths.”

“Why does everyone keep saying I’m a sociopath? I’m not a sociopath.”

“Of course this counts as a blog post. Don’t try – don’t look at me like that – oh, for goodness’ sake. I DO WHAT I WANT, OKAY?”

27 thoughts on “Things You’ll Hear Me Say

  1. *mutters about lost comments for the third time!*

    Emotions are complicated to make life interesting, much in the same way that torturing a protagonist can make a book interesting.

    And I love how your headphones makes the list three times. :}

    *crosses fingers that this posts corectly and copies it just to be sure*

  2. I for one loved the post. You have an interesting life if your quotes look like that. About the best I’ve ever gotten was “I’d like to be buried in Antarctica. A nice, quiet service, all the penguins in black tie.”

    1. That’s a pretty good one, though. I mean, it has penguins in it, and that adds numerous awesome points.
      This doesn’t even have some of my favourites. This is like the last week of my life in quotes :D

    1. Ha ha ha, I have changed people’s names in the past, but usually I only do a couple at a time and they’re people who text me a lot so I know who they are. This time, though, I did ALL of them. And I don’t know who they are now.

  3. I once wrote an annoying person I’d met into a story, whereupon they were horribly splatted by a cow-shaped rock. I suppose I should feel guilty, but I don’t. :)

    1. I do not love the Olympics. I will never enjoy watching sport. I will never enjoy having reduced trains running or having my city full of tourists (though there are plenty of them on a normal day). I will never enjoy having Olympic-themed lessons at school, Olympic-themed shows for ballet, and Olympic decorations up in my home town since March. I will never enjoy taxpayers’ money being spent on something about which I couldn’t care less.
      And that, my friends, is why I do not like the Olympics.

    1. Thanks! That’s always nice to hear :D
      Ach, yes. I hate it when that happens. I hope you retrieve it soon (mine has turned up, under the piles of stuff on my desk).

  4. You like Loki and Avengers and Sherock and Doctor Who! I recently watched Sherlock and finished all of New Who and I have so many feels!!!
    Not to mention that The Avengers is the coolest movie in the history of ever.

    1. Indeed, I like Loki and Avengers and Sherlock and Doctor Who (and Torchwood and Norse Mythology and Celtic Mythology and Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings and Hunger Games and MANY other things). I’m in so many fandoms I lose track :D

    1. It’s a very long story…
      I cosplayed Sherlock a while back and we did the whole Sherlock and John being handcuffed together. The cuffs belong to both of us as we paid half each but I’m looking after them. My room is a tip so everything without a home is on my desk, including the handcuffs.

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